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'I used to ask God why am I alone?'

Joyce's father refused to acknowledge her and she became primary carer for her disabled mother at a young age. Joyce felt very lonely and ashamed growing up. She hasn't had the opportunities she deserves - but she doesn't believe her dreams are over.

Joyce, 26, was born in Arusha and raised by her grandparents after her mother fell pregnant at 18 while living at home. Joyce was told that when her mother went to her father he rejected her, saying the child wasn't his.


When Joyce was five or six her mother became sick. She started losing memories before having other psychiatric problems. The family struggled with both her grandparents having no employment to support the family and they couldn't afford to take her mother to hospital.


Her mother began frequently disappearing from home and they would have to ask the police to help find her. One time, she disappeared completely for six months and they could never find out where she went.

Joyce said: “It reached the point where she started beating people; kicking and punching them."

They had to start locking her inside the house.


As the years went on her mother's physical condition worsened, until she couldn't even turn over in her bed.

“She soiled herself, so I was the one who dealt with those things,” Joyce said.


Caring for her mother interrupted Joyce's education from a young age.

By nine years-old she was washing her mother and her clothes.

“My mum never wanted anyone else to care for her,” Joyce said.

“I was in primary school at the time, but I was the one looking after her, so sometimes I used to miss school.

“When I used to go back to school, the teacher used to cane me. I tried to tell them it was because of my mother, but they didn't want to understand me.

“Before year seven it reached the point where I wanted to quit school.”

Then her mother passed away, Joyce tells me, burying her face in her hands as the tears escape.

Joyce felt the stigma of being rejected by her father and caring for a disabled mother.

“It pained me a lot,” she said.

“Especially when other kids used to have parents at school events.

“I even couldn't play with other kids because they would joke about my mother's issues.

“I used to stigmatise myself.

“I used to ask God 'why am I alone? - everyone has a family but me,'” Joyce added.


After her mother passed away, her grandparents continued sending Joyce to school, but when her grandfather got sick it became very hard for the family to pay her school fees.

“The teacher used to chase me away from school as I hadn't paid my fees,” Joyce said.

For a time a church paid her tuition, but when her exam results weren't high enough, she wasn't selected to continue to do her A levels.


Just after she finished with school, her grandfather passed away, but Joyce continues to live with her grandmother.

She tried selling second hand clothes for a while, but when her grandparents needed money for food, she used to use her capital to help and the business failed.


Without any money to get about, Joyce would always stay at home, until she met Perfect Vision founder Mama Happy on one of her home visits.

Happy told her to join the group and she did.

Joyce hopes one day to be a clothes designer

“I don't believe my dream is over,” she said.


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